First Dates Archives - Page 2 of 2

You found someone new to date which should be exciting. It does not matter if you met online or at a church group in your local area. The key is whether you connect with each other and if you enjoy each other’s company. Hopefully, you both have at least some common interests unless it is a blind date. People usually talk on the phone or have emailed through a dating site or app before deciding to meet. It is always a little tricky when you first start dating someone new. You have to get to know them to see if they are someone you are interested in dating longer term. Everyone has things they do that may annoy each other. You need to find out if the attraction is strong enough to get past all the things that may cause the relationship to end. Time to check out the 17 tips for dating someone new 1. The key to dating someone new is to ask questions You need to ask questions about who your date is, what they love to do and how they do things in the world. The more questions you can ask the better chance you have of really connecting. People really like talking about what they have done in their life. You asking questions can answer many things like who they are and if they might be a good fit for your life. If they love animals and you do not that may be a deal crusher. People love what they love and if you do not like what they love a little bit, well then this may be a tough relationship. When dating someone new you just need to ask probing questions to learn more about your new date, boyfriend, or girlfriend. You can make the questions fun. Here are just a few we thought were interesting. If you had a million dollars what would you do? If you only had a month to live how would you spend it? What’s the craziest thing you have ever done? Name one thing you regret doing in your life? Let’s say you can go back in time, name the one thing you would change? What is your favorite music? Why? What’s your favorite sport? If you could travel anywhere in the world for free where would you go? And why? Do you have a favorite charity? If so what is it? Do you have any weird talents? If you need more questions to check out go to our article on the top funny first date questions. This will give you some interesting questions to ask. You just keep asking questions and you also need to remember the answers. 2. The next key factor is to listen You need to listen intently when dating someone new. It is important to listen to what is said to you. If you can really tune in to the date to find out who they are and what they are about you are golden. This will let your date know you care because you listen. If you can listen then try and remember the important part of your conversations with them. You can use that knowledge to impress them later in the dating stages when you bring up information they shared a week or even months ago. Try not to get distracted on dates instead focus on your listening skills. Listen to what they say taking a mental note to use later in the conversation. The purpose of a date is to get to know each other not blabber on about you. 3. Find out their love language You have the 5 love languages and you need to find out which love language fits your partner the best. The 5 love languages will look at which one of the 5 you gravitate to. If you know which one your partner is the better able you will be to meet that love they seek. Here are the 5: Words of Affirmation - This language uses words to affirm other people. You would be saying nice things about someone. Acts of Service – Action speaks louder than words for these people. You show by doing something for the one you love like maybe doing dishes or cleaning the house. Receiving Gifts – Some people getting a gift makes them feel loved or special. You shower someone with gifts or at least every once in a while. Quality Time - This is about giving the one you love your undivided attention. You focus on them and what they are saying. You maybe spend time together watching a favorite show or movie together. Physical Touch – Touching them is how this person feels deeply loved. Maybe you give them a massage or hug them every day to give them the touching they need. Figure out which one is your most dominant then make sure your partner knows. 4. Treat others like you would like to be treated You are still new to dating and you want to see how far this will go. You need to stick to the golden rule. Treat others like you would like to be treated. You need to be nice, kind, and thoughtful doing things for each other because you want to. You need to treat each other with kindness. 5. When dating someone new rely on your intuition You have started dating someone new and things are going pretty good. There is one thing you need to listen to and that is your inner gut or feeling. If you ever have a feeling that something is not right or is going in the wrong direction in the relationship. You need to pay attention to it, figure out if it is worth breaking up and moving on. Your gut will tell you if it is time to move on. 6. Do not spill the beans You have been dating someone maybe a week or 6 weeks. The relationship is still very new. The last thing you should be doing is telling them about past stuff they don’t want to hear. Why even start up a conversation about their ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? Unless they are stalking you and the new person in your life would need to know, keep that junk under lock and key. Nobody cares about your past relationships or what happened. Keep the past stories to fun or entertaining ones that you had with your friends. You definitely need to keep things to a bare minimum on negative things that happened in the past. That is unless you are on parole then at some point, you should let them know things like that. 7. Stalking your new guy or women You should not be stalking anyone especially a new boyfriend or girlfriend. You need to give them some space when starting out. You do not need to call them or text them every day. This all depends on your personality and that of your dating partner. Some people are more clingy and controlling than others. I know as the relationship grows you will talk, text and hang out more but at the beginning hold back on 24/7 being with someone. 8. Social media stalking This is the same as the one above. You need to give your new dating partner some space in the social media world. You can like them or friend them that is no big deal but don’t blow up their account. Keep your distance and you can share or post information on social media in a normal non-stalking way. An example, you should not post on Facebook 20 times a day. Or tweet them 20 times a day. You can check online to investigate a person when dating someone new. You just don't want to go over board on the stalking or tracking them. 9. Vulnerable You can show some vulnerability when first dating. You just do not want to over the top. It is good to be sensitive or vulnerable especially for a guy. You can show a soft side being comfortable in your own skin. I would not start crying over simple things but many people like to see a softer side to others when dating. 10. Manners You should be at your best with manners. I know as time goes on people lose manners to a certain level. You want to have the right type of manners like opening doors, not unloading smelly farts, belching, or anything else that you would not do in public. You just started dating so keep the manners at the top level. You should even keep manners even after dating for a long time. 11. Don’t forget about you You need to spend some time by yourself. When dating someone new you do not have to be around them all the time. Alone time is a really good thing. This allows you time to think and reflect on your life. You should go out with the guys or girls and do it often. There is nothing worse than a man or woman finding a boyfriend or girlfriend and after a few weeks, you never see them again. The will come back to their friends usually a year later after they broke up. You just need balance in your life. 12. Out to dinner Things are different today than back 20 years ago. When a couple went out on a date usually the man paid. Today when people go out on dates it has become common knowledge that each person will pay for their own meal. A man can still offer to pay for the meal but if the woman insists just let her pay her half. Nothing wrong with this and it seems to be the norm. The woman may even offer to pay for the whole meal or one person pays today and the next date the other one buys. The dates seem to be more of a 50/50 split on whatever the cost is for the date. 13. Friends and family You have a new person you are dating in your life. Sooner or later friends and family usually chime in on your love life. When you start dating someone new you should wait a while before taking the new person to meet the family. This is more of a thing you do once things have gotten serious. You really want to get to know someone before taking them to meet your mom and dad. You may want some of your friends to meet your new partner after a month or two. Sometimes when the relationship is new a friend can give you an honest opinion of what they think about your new boyfriend or girlfriend. You could probably work it out for you and the new dating partner to meet a bunch of friends out. This way having a big group the new person can blend in and everyone can meet them. 14. Online dating meetup You have met someone on an internet dating website. Things are looking good with the conversation online. Now you want to meet the other person because it has been long enough with just online talking. You may be thinking it is time to meet face to face and go to the next level. Just because you are ready to meet face to face does not mean they are ready. If they do not want to meet yet that is fine you just need to keep communicating online until they are ready. You want to make sure they want to meet before setting it up. There is nothing wrong with going slow in a relationship especially an online one. Not everyone moves at the speed you may want to go. You definitely do not want to scare them away if you really like them. 15. Alcohol on dates Dating someone new has many upsides but there can also be some things you need to watch out for in dating. This would be drinking too much alcohol. You go on a date and the few drinks you have is fine. The one thing you cannot do is get drunk when out with someone you do not know well. Drinking heavily can really get you into trouble physically and sexually. You do not want to be drunk and do something you both regret or wake up in the morning. Your judgment is way off when you drink. The choices you make could really affect your life forever. Limit the drinking and just have fun in the right state of mind. You want to really party it up do it when you have other friends around like on a group outing so you have someone watching your back. I know in college when we had a party with this one sorority they had groups of two or three women. Each one looked out for the other and they never left anyone behind. It is good to have safety measures in place when drinking. 16. What is your sex boundary You should not have sex when dating someone that is new. Even after just a few dates, you need to hold off on the sex. Having sex with someone should be a big deal and should not be taken lightly. If you do not want to have sex then the person your dating should be interested enough to wait. If they are not interested in waiting for you to be ready then maybe you should move on to find someone that fits where you are at in life. Know what your sex boundary is and why it is there. 17. Get rid of the Christmas wish list Everyone wants the perfect male or female to date. We all have an idea of the perfect person to go out with but that is not reality. You are looking for someone that has as many great qualities as possible but holding a date to a dream list is tough. Do the best you can on finding a great person and it may surprise you that the person you fall for was not even close to the wish list you had dreamed up. Conclusion Hopefully, you live a long and prosperous life together. Life is about going out and having fun no matter what your age. You just need to get out there to date as many people until you find a keeper. Everyone in this world has a special someone they have already met or will meet. If you have not found that special someone does not give up hope because if you keep at it then it will happen. You also want to make sure that when dating someone new you give them a long enough time to determine if they are the one. Maybe one or two dates is not enough, maybe you click with each other on the fifth date but if you do not get to the fifth date then that opportunity is gone.