How Internet Dating Works  - Cool Dating Advice

How Internet Dating Works 

How Internet Dating Works

Single people are always looking for someone they can go out with on a date. The question is how does internet dating work and should I try it? Internet dating is where you go online to find a dating service such as eHarmony or Cupid. These sites have you sign up to set up a profile and account.

Most online dating sites you will have to pay a monthly charge to look for profiles of users of the opposite or same-sex depending on the website you use.

Once you find profiles of people that may match your personality and interest you then contact them to see if they have an interest in connecting with you.  

The answer above is straight forward but overall internet dating can be more complex once you start having face to face dates. We look to break it down for you on how to start into internet dating.


People have been dating since humans have walked the earth. Today’s world many people are looking to online dating to find that person to have fun with or go out on a date.

Many people are not sure about internet dating wondering how it works and is it safe.

There are many things in today’s society that sometimes makes it tough to find true love.

Meeting people can be tough in today’s world since we are all so busy. Many people meet at work but you have to be careful because many companies frown upon work relationships.

The bar scene is old school and really a tough place to find that right connection.

You have meeting people at social organizations or community functions can work.

Your church is another way in which you can find someone to connect with when you are single.

I got set up on a blind date with my wife so you can rely on friends to connect you with the right person.  

This has been an ongoing struggle with people after high school and college.

If you did not find the love of your life after college how do you meet people to find that connection? 

The age of the internet brought us yet another way people who are single or divorced can meet others with similar interests. We call it online dating. 

Internet dating site niches


There are sites for every type of person out there. You have the free websites so you can try out internet dating then you have the niche sites.

Niche sites are where a common interest is what the dating website focuses on to match users. You will have sites for: 

  • Seniors
  • Muslims
  • Fitness People
  • Christians
  • Catholics
  • Military dating
  • Over 50
  • Women seeking a rich man
  • Men seeking rich women
  • School Alumni
  • Gay men and women
  • Jewish
  • Overall general dating websites – Pay to join
  • Overall general dating websites – Free to join
  • Adult dating sites
  • International dating sites 
  • Asian dating sites

Sign up online dating

Once you get to an online dating site many sites especially free dating sites you can search profiles by creating a username and password for a free account.

You will be limited to what you can see and do without paying for access unless it is a free dating site.  

Here are a few different things dating sites may want you to do.

  • Create a profile
  • You may have to fill out a short description of yourself
  • Complete about section
  • Fill out your interests
  • Answer a ton of personality questions (This may not be fun but do it right so you get matched)
  • Add photos
  • View matches
  • Then you can narrow down your search for matches
  • Connect by email or send IM

When you decide which site might be a good match then you need to sign up. Let’s look at the profile and what the dating site may need from you.

The profile will ask specific questions that you will need to answer. We listed some below but many sites will ask way more than what we have listed.

Questions may include: 

  • Are you a man?
  • Are you a woman?
  • You looking for a man or a woman?
  • What is the age range?
  • What is your zip code or city?
  • What am I doing with my life? Do not write the old boring stuff like I am a project manager. You want to write on feelings and keep this one short and sweet.
  • They may ask what you are good at. If you have skills let people know but not in a bragging way and make it interesting. Just talk about a few things you are good at or enjoy like you love to play chess or to stay in shape I take Krav Maga martial arts.
  • You may be asked about favorites like books or movies. Just make the answer simple so you are not boring people. You do not want to put the last 30 books or movies you read or watched. Like I love the movie Old School because it made me laugh and reminded me of when I was in college. 

The number of questions on some sites can be too much but they are trying to get a good sense of who you are as a person. I am not going to review all the profile questions here since we are just discussing the basics of how internet dating works.  

Just know that some sites will ask a ton of questions to really get a sense of who you are for your profile.

This is to help match you with someone that may be compatible.

Other sites will just ask enough questions to get you started. They are trying to simplify the profile set up so you can start looking for interesting matches. 


Sites will ask you to post a photo of yourself. You want to put an actual real photo of what you look like.

I would not use a photo of you 10 years ago or a photo that is not you. You may want to meet someone from the connections online and not looking like the picture when you meet will probably doom the first date. 

Make sure you take a really good photo because it is really important if you want people to respond to you or connect with you.

The photo is the first thing people look for when doing online dating.

Dating now compared to the past 

Dating today is much different than dating 20 years ago before the internet. People married younger and the selection pool people had before the internet was based on physical interaction.

This means you had to meet them at work, church or out at a bar. The internet dating age allows people to broaden their potential candidates for a person to date.  

You also have a wider area to find someone with online dating. Back 15 years ago who you met was limited by geography because you actually had to meet them in person to date.

Internet dating a person can live 20 minutes across town but internet dating gives you a chance to meet them.

You would have never had that chance to meet someone 15 to 30 minutes away 15 years ago.

The rise of online dating plus dating apps gives you such a huge pool to choose from.

You can look for specific traits or personality in a partner by looking at profiles of online daters.

This opens up your potential of finding someone compatible because the amount of singles on dating sites is so large. 

Dating is a numbers game and that is why online dating works. You have a larger pool of potential candidates to choose from than you did 20 years ago. 

How to connect

You can send an IM or a flirt to see if someone will respond back to you. Don’t get discouraged if you send 10 and get 3 to respond back.

Some profiles may be old or no longer used and the person you sent the message already found someone but did not update their profile or take it down.

When communicating through IM or email make sure to ask questions.

Read what they put in their profile and talk about something that you both like.

They may like hiking and you like hiking to so talk about that. Ask them where they have hiked and when is their next hiking trip.

We say it all the time people love to talk about themselves.

Every time you talk, try to ask them more questions so you can get a sense of who this person is on the other side of a computer.

You want to make sure you have a really good sense of this person before going on a face to face date.

Once everything seems good then set it up and meet somewhere so you can talk.

Do not go to a movie where you sit and do nothing for 2 hours. That is a terrible way to get to know someone. If you want to learn more about going on a new date check out 17 tips for dating someone new.

It is always tough to meet someone new and you will be nervous. You just need to relax so you can have some fun. If the date goes well awesome but if it does not no worries.

There are so many people out in the world who are single and looking for love so you will find someone you just have to keep trying.

Do dating websites actually work?

Yes, they do work but everything has it’s good and bad with online dating not being any different. If you follow the tips we give you then success will be better.

Many people sign-up and never fill out the profile or add a picture which will lessen the chance of people contacting you.

There are many people who find true love online and get married.

Whatever happens to you is up to you if you join a site or don’t join. I think you really have nothing to lose but a few dollars for the membership so you might as well give it a try.

Which dating site is the best for a serious relationship?

Every site touts how great they are at people getting married. The truth is every site people find love on and many get married.

I think trying to say which is the best is really tough.

eHarmony and match both have a large user population so both sites will have a greater amount of people connecting and having a serious relationship.

That does not mean they are the best just means they have the most members so the percentages are higher.

You should test out a site and if you do not like it try a different one. It does not hurt to test out which sites you may like more. Once you find the site stick with that one until you find who you are looking for.


This is basically how internet dating works. You have to sign up and answer some questions about yourself.

You need a recent good photo of yourself. You can try for free for a little while then at some point you have to pay up to really get the full dating site access. That is unless you decide to just do a free dating website. 

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