Looking for that special someone, whether it’s at work, at school, or even at the bar, can sometimes go out of hand and not work the way you want it to. So, you look into online dating and you begin to wonder. However, you can’t just start talking to someone through a device and automatically have things work.
You need to know what you’re doing, how you’re doing it, and why you are doing it. Then, everything else starts to come into play. Here are a few things to follow, or in other words, a few things to consider when you want to find your significant other through an online dating app.
What kind of person are you?
With the billions and billions and billions of people on this planet, each and every person is different in a way. They might look for something specific in someone, like being a gamer, or into politics, or simply just someone who has a sweetheart.
There are tons of dating apps, therefore, you need to pick the right one for you. Not only do some people look for special features in a person, but some people also look for special features in the app. For example, some people are bothered by having to swipe through different profiles, others might prefer just searching or being easily matched with someone. Always remember to find the safe, easy, and affordable app that fits you most to make your experience a success!
Before even making your profile, think about the type of person you are. What you are looking for, what your goal is, why you are doing what you are about to do. Answer the questions with full thought and complete honesty. Don’t just choose an option to a question because you have seen someone be that way, or act that way. Choose what seems closest to you.
Your profile is important, take some time creating it!
Alright, let’s admit it. We all know that our dating app profiles are the most important aspects of the whole dating “online” idea. Putting time and effort when making your profile is really important. After finding the dating app that works fits you best, find the photos that really show you best. Don’t just post selfies of you and your friends at the bar. The online dater that is viewing your profile should instantly know who you are.
When writing your bio, do not just say a few words. Actually, explain your hobbies and throw in a few words that will make your viewers either think about what you have written or even giggle. Remember that you do not have to put all of your information out there. You don’t know who all of these people are, so, it’s totally fine to reveal only a few things about you.
Matching and meeting? When, where and how
After finding the best app for you, and creating your popping profile, start messaging away. I’m sure that you will receive some messages, and many different people will be interested in speaking to you. Message for a few days, weeks, and rather more, months if necessary.
However, remember that you will not know them, even if you message for months until you actually meet in person. You will not know how much you love someone, or how attracted you are to an individual unless you actually see them and speak to them in person. Try to meet them as soon as you feel comfortable so you don’t waste your time and theirs too!
Place your standards
Once finding that special someone, no matter how much time you have spent together, do not let them pass their limits. For example, don’t let them get into your business until you really get to know them. Even with that, nobody should ever get too much into your business.
You have your personal space, and they need to know that you don’t have to share every single thing about you. If they ask, it’s OK to tell them that you would prefer not to say or even talk about the whole subject.
Desperate? Hell no
Don’t be desperate.
We completely understand that you are really trying to find this special someone, but your world will not end if you don’t find that someone right away, in a matter of seconds.
Do not put all of your focus on your new profile.
Do other things throughout your day other than just swiping and trying to find a date. Go out and exercise, do your grocery shopping, and meet with your friends. Go on with your normal routine and once that special person finds you, things will flow the way they are supposed to. Don’t repeatedly message someone, give them time.
Give it time
After creating your online profile, don’t start checking the app every five seconds, and running out of swipes or get upset because you are not finding any matches or any messages. It takes time for your profile to get out there and for the system to find your matches after your seventy-one questions on the questionnaire.
Remember to not stalk any of the cool or hot people you find.
Message them, and if they get back to you, then great. If not, then they probably are not interested.
Before even picking the right dating app for you, make sure you have in mind everything that could happen and that has happened to individuals from online dating. For example, the number one problem people encounter when online dating is all the fake users and profiles that try to catfish the real, innocent people. They can look very real, and most of them do the impossible to get you into believing them.
Always think about the information you give them and the kinds of things you talk to them about. For example, your credit card information, where you live or possibly work, where you go during your free time, and simple things like that.
When you want to meet with them, take a friend and have them stay in the area. NEVER, go anywhere that is not surrounded by a bunch of people. Meet at malls, cafes, or even a bar.
If you have been scrolling for days or even weeks, and nothing is working and you’re not finding something that is actually interesting, do not think about giving up on online dating. Remember that looks are not always everything, and some individuals look rather better in person than their pictures.
Also remember that some people have beautiful hearts, and they are so much sweeter than the people you are crushing or looking for. After talking to them, their sweet, loving, and caring personality will make them more attractive than ever. Possibly look through your own profile and make some adjustments. For example, adding pictures of yourself, or spicing your bio up a bit.
Regardless of all the stressful, scary, and crazy things that can happen from online dating apps, remember to have fun and enjoy yourself. Have a positive mindset when going into online dating. If you think about it as a worthless, waste of time, and unsafe, you will most likely not find what you are looking for. You will have negative results with your negative vibe.
Send a positive message and texts when first meeting someone online. You do not want to come off as negative because that will be an instant turn-off. If you are in a bad mood or had a bad day stay away from your online account because that mood will come through your messaging. Get in a better mood so when you are contacted you can connect with the other person in a happy positive manner.
I know not all relationships are positive and happy but when you first meet people you cannot go negative right off the bat.
Smile when you write back to someone or get a glass of wine or beer before you communicate. The more relaxed you are the better the connection.
Try not to be nitpicky
You do want to make sure you go out with the right people and you do not want to pick someone really bad. You do not want to be too nit-picky. If you throw out potential dates for every little thing you do not like then dating will be tough.
Just make a small list of things you really want in a date. Things that you know you can’t have in a date make that list to but make sure it’s not too long. The list should be short so as to not limit your options so much that you date no one.
You will reach out to someone you find interesting after reading their profile. Make sure the first email or chat once they accept is a good one. Doing things like saying, “What’s up” will not work well for most first contacts. You should read their profile find a common interest and ask about that. It’s easy just say something like, “I did see on your profile you are a dog lover so am I.”
Try some easy ice breaker questions to start a great conversation. You can check out our article on some great ice breaker questions.
Going on a date face to face
You need to just be careful about how you both set up these dates. Both of you just met online so you barely know each other so take it slow.
- Pick a location that is safe and has a ton of other people like an outside market. This way everyone feels comfortable with a bunch of other people around. You need to also meet there do not have a guy pick you up at your home. You need to make sure that the date is a good match and things are safe before revealing your home location.
- Who pays is a common thought in today’s world. Most people today will just pay for their own meal or date cost. If the man offers to pay the first time that the woman can offer to pay for the next date if the first date goes well. Vice versa if the woman offers to buy.
- Listen to what is said and ask engaging questions. You have two ears listen to the conversation so you can see if this person is someone you can connect with for a second date. The more you remember the better a second date will go if you hit it off for the first date.
- Do not bring up any ex-boyfriends or girlfriends on the first several dates especially the first date. I would not bring up any previous date you have been online in the past. You need to just focus on the date you have in front of you.
- Have some fun and do not get uptight. Meeting new people should be fun and exciting no matter the outcome.
Fake profiles, pictures, and con artist
We want to review some things to watch out for when doing online dating. Don’t be scared or nervous just some things to consider when looking for someone to date on an app or dating website.
- You need to make sure the photo you put on your profile is recent. If you go on a date and you do not look like the picture then the date will not last long. Some people will post a younger picture or a picture of someone else to get interest. Just don’t do it stick to who you are and what you look like.
- Fake profiles just look for things that are off like profile not filled out, one picture and only their first name. Definitely signs things are not right with that profile.
- The first date just make sure you meet at a public place. Do not take drinks from anyone order straight from bartender or waiter. You do not want to get drugged and that is any time you go out not just on a first date.
- The dreaded emails from guys asking girls for sex. Unfortunately, the guys that do this are on the wrong site and not on FriendFinder. Maybe they need to understand the difference between OkHookup.com and OkCupid.com. They are two different sites with two different purposes.
- On a first date maybe set up an out with a friend so you can get out early if it is going bad. I would think it would have to be really bad for you to leave but it does happen. Be nice if they try to contact you on the dating site to see about meeting again. You can let them down easy unless they are being a pest and keep contacting you after saying no. This is why you never give your personal phone number or email to them because it is much easier to block them from contacting you on the dating app or website. You only give your number after several dates and you have a great feeling about where things are going. When you first start dating you can also set up an email just for dating use and not use your personal email.
We want you to have a successful, fun, and most importantly, safe experience with online dating. There are many great apps out there, however, not every single app works for everyone. It takes time to find the right one for you. It also takes time to make your profiles. Remember to be honest with who you are, and don’t base things off of people you wish you were.
Make some time in your schedule when you are thinking about starting an online dating profile. Some apps have lengthy questionnaires, others are just a few questions, but what really matters is that you think closely about who you really are. You don’t have to include every single detail about yourself in your bio. Be aware of who you are talking to, and what kind of information you share with them about yourself. Once getting to meet with them, don’t meet up in a forest for a walk, or at a park at 7 AM or even 9 PM. Meet somewhere surrounded with people, and take someone with you if it is necessary. Be safe and have fun. Good luck!