It is always so easy to give everyone else advice about what to do after a breakup … until you are the one in the situation. No matter how many times you go through breakups, it never gets easier. It also does not help that as you scroll through your timelines on social media, all that you see are perfect couples. We have all been at that point where it feels like you may never move on and get back into another committed relationship again. It is important to remember that there is no rule book on how to get yourself back out there, but here are some tips
It’s okay to have bad days
It is important to remember that it is okay to have a bad day. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. It is okay to be sad. However, do not stop living. Give yourself some time and then let your family and friends help you. Asking for help is okay! If you do not give yourself time to get over your ex and your past relationship, you will never be ready for another one. Bad days make the good days that much better.
Boost your self confidence
It is very easy for a breakup to lower your self-confidence. This is normal. Some partners can make your self-confidence lower during the breakup. People say hurtful things in these kinds of situations. Take the time to focus on yourself and feel good about yourself. Take some alone time and treat yourself. Go to the gym, do some yoga, meet up with old friends, cut your hair – whatever will make you find yourself again, do it!
Bettering yourself will better future relationships. If you try to move on before you have your self-confidence back, it will affect your new relationship. So, make sure that you take some time to focus on yourself for a little bit. You deserve it.
Don’t focus on your Ex
A key thing to remember is that you left your ex for a reason. Stalking them on social media, watching their everyday lives, and looking for their new lovers is just going to make your process of moving on worse. Everyone grieves in different ways, and if you see your ex moving on quicker than you, it is going to make you feel like you should too. You want to find a new relationship on your time, based on what you want. If you can’t get over your ex and your past relationship you will never be ready to move on.
Carrying problems from previous relationships into new ones never ends well. This is why it is so important that you make sure you are completely ready to focus on a new partner and relationship. Future partners do not want to be judged because of past partners who have failed. Dating should be fun! Do not focus on the past, enjoy the moment. Go on dates, have fun, and do not be afraid of future relationships. They do not all end the same.
Start dating again on your own time
Everyone deals with things differently. Some people need to go out and go on dates right away to get over the ex, and some people need a year alone to be ready to move on. There is no right amount of time to wait until dating again. You just need to make sure you are ready. It is all up to you. Listen to the advice the people in your life tell you, but in the end, you can never be emotionally ready for the next step until you truly feel like you are. Do not let other people in your life push you into anything you aren’t ready for. Do not be afraid to take your time. Any amount of time is good to prepare yourself for a new relationship.
Go out
Do not be afraid to go out and have fun. You have not been single in a little bit, give yourself the opportunity to go out with your finds and enjoy yourself. Catch up with some old friends. It’s nice to just be able to have people to talk to in times like this. Once you let yourself start going out again, it will be noticeable how much better you feel. Friends and family can make you happy. Opportunities are everywhere. Enjoy life and don’t let the breakup define you. Who knows, you could find your new lover at the bar, restaurant, or wherever you go to hang out with your friends.
Choose wisely
Do not be too eager to jump right into the first thing you find. Date around, have some fun, do whatever you need to do to find a good fit for you. If you get yourself into something that ends badly, you’re going to be right back where you started. Don’t be too anxious to get too serious. It is okay to casually date around. You don’t have to be exclusive it anyone right away. You will find your person eventually.
Don’t look for someone similar to your ex either. Chances are, if that kind of personality didn’t work out last time, it won’t this time either. Certain personalities just don’t go together, and other go along super well. If you see a lot of similarities in a new person and your ex, you’ll be focusing on your ex when you should be focusing on your new date. Open up, talk to new people and take some chances. You never know who you may find.
Go out on some fun date
You do not have to do any serious dating just go out on some fun dates to get back into the mix. Why mope around the house feeling all depressed. Just get out and find some new people to talk to, just go anywhere. You can maybe sign up for online dating to find someone to talk to online or even go out on a date after meeting online. Life is short so make the most of it and start meeting people again.
Make sure you pick the right date
When starting to date again make sure you pick the right person. You do not want to just jump into a relationship right after a big break-up so date around. The key is knowing when you have met someone that you feel could be possible long-term dating potential. Finding the right person is the key once you start dating again because you do not want the wrong type of relationship.
Single is fun
Enjoy the time you are single after a break-up. This time will serve you well to reflect on what you want to do and where you want to go in life. Some point you will look for someone to share time with but that will come when you are ready.
Make sure there is closure
If you still have a bunch of stuff at the ex either forget about it or go get it. You do not want to have anything looming once the break up is complete. If they have your favorite sleeping pillow then go get it with whatever else you want. If you do not get your stuff then closure is tough.
Quit talking about the ex
You need to just quit talking about the ex because that will allow you to move on. If you want to date in the future and keep someone’s interest do not bring up your ex. I suggest you do not start dating again until the ex is no longer talked about. Obviously, you cannot wipe them from your memory but you can quit talking about them.
Date for the right reasons
You want to go on a date because you are ready. You should not date to try and make your ex-jealous. Don’t date just because you are lonely, make sure you start dating again for the right reasons. You will be glad you did once you go on a date.
Conclusion
Overall just make sure you are doing what you want, and not just doing things for everyone else. Everyone is going to go through this process differently, and it all just depends on what you want in the end. There’s never a good time to start dating again or start a relationship. Open yourself up to new people and possibilities. Sometimes people show up in your life when you least expect it.