I remember the very first time I kissed a girl. It was awkward but I liked it. Kissing a girl was a very new experience for me at the time. It was an experience that made me consider dating girls.
Going into the lesbian dating scene was absolutely a wreck for me. I so used to date guys. I didn’t know where to meet the girls, what to say, what to do, how to act, or even what to wear. I was really going into everything “wet behind the ears.”
Back then there was not much dating advice for the LGBT community.
Luckily today I can offer my very own personal advice on how to date lesbians. Especially if you are considering dating lesbians or new to the lesbian dating scene like I was a few years ago.
It wasn’t easy for me because I was so used to guys courting me first. With guys, I never had to do much. All I had to do was simply “just be” and they would be into me either way.
It’s not to say that dating guys is much easier or better than dating girls, I’m just saying dating girls was new for me.
One thing I’ve learned about dating the same sex is that we can really relate on a much deeper level and as women, we can really communicate effectively. In which, having someone to relate to was another reason I started to seek out lesbian lovers.
If you are in need of lesbian dating advice please read this article.
First thing first
Since you have it in your mind to start dating lesbians you are probably wondering where you will meet them. You can meet lesbians anywhere.
Of course, you can’t really tell a person’s sexuality just by looking at them unless it’s obvious but you can ask if you are interested in someone. You can go to a lesbian bar or nightclub.
You can search online for the next lesbian or LGBT community event in your local area.
You can meet someone online at one of the many dating sites for the lesbian community. Read the article on the best lesbian dating sites. Just put yourself out there and start dating lesbians!
Have an open mind
The very first thing you should do when dating a lesbian is to have an open mind. By having an open mind you are welcoming new ideas and perspectives into your life.
This is a whole new world that you are tackling so the idea is to learn and soak up all the information you can. You don’t want to go into the lesbian dating scene close-minded because then you may be rejecting the opportunity to really meet a great lover or friend.
When I first started dating lesbians I was hesitant at first, even after my first kiss. I met this really cool chick at a party once. We exchange numbers and texted each other every once and awhile.
We decided to hang out and when we did I was closed off and the meetup didn’t go so well. I never spoke with her again after that but I know it was totally my fault.
Dating a lesbian was not what I was used to. It took me some time but eventually, I loosened up and kept an open mind.
Be yourself
This is a whole new life for you so of course, you have no clue how to be. I’m here to tell you just simply be yourself. Anyone can tell when you aren’t being genuine and putting on a persona.
There is no need to act like someone you aren’t because you are trying to impress someone.
If a person is meant to be in your life they will like you for who you are! If you are into the fem lesbian you don’t have to act butch or super masculine because you may think that what she likes.
If you like the stud lesbian you don’t have to act passive or shy because you may think that’s what she likes. If you are into the stem lesbian you don’t have to act like you are super aggressive because you may think that’s what she likes.
Be yourself and get to know the lesbian your date. This brings me to my next tip.
Know the different lesbian types
I mentioned previously about Fem, Stud, Stem. Well, it’s important you know the distinction between the three.
Fem is the feminine lesbian, the girly girl who likes high heels and makeup.
Stud is the more masculine lesbian.
The stem is a mixture between both Fem and Stud.
Then there is the lesbian that does not like to label herself at all. She is comfortable in her skin and does not identify with any labels.
It is important to know the difference because you yourself may develop a type of lesbian that you are into, as you start out in the dating scene.
Have a good conversation
As a woman myself, I know the importance of having a really good conversation. Most of all women love a good conversation. When you have a good conversation you can talk about anything under the sun.
You two can relate with one another on womanly experiences. When you communicate you really start to get to know each other on a deeper level.
You learn new ideas and form a bond that could eventually lead to a meaningful relationship. A good conversation is a major key when seeking out lesbian lovers.
Don’t Share Too Much
Yes, communication is good but don’t share too much when you are communicating. Yeah as women we can be very open and down to earth but don’t overdo it.
Telling too much information about yourself can push anyone away. Share just enough information for them to get to know you but not too much information where they think you are crazy or overly emotional about life.
If the conversation does get deep and you both are equally sharing stories then that is okay. That just means you really found someone you can connect with.
If you do find someone you can connect with then great! Take it from there.
Always ask for consent
Let’s be honest here most people think the LGBT community is people who always hook up with everyone and anyone but that is totally not true.
The LGBT community is just like everyone else. They just don’t hook up with just anyone.
There are a set of standards required and morals are involved just like in any heterosexual relationship. Lesbian has a type and a preference as well.
Therefore if you happen to find a lesbian you like don’t think you can just easily hook up with them or assume they like you just because you are a female.
If you start vibing out with your date and want to take things to the next level physically always ask for consent. It is never okay to assume anything and just go in for a kiss or a touch on your own.
Ask! Ask! Ask! Ask! Ask! Never force anyone to do anything!
Don’t Pretend You Know About Lesbian Sex
Yes, if you are new to the lesbian dating world and never had sex with a lesbian don’t pretend you know just because you are a girl yourself.
Sex with a woman is definitely different from having sex with a guy.
There are more ways to explore. It’s sensual and the foreplay is amazing.
Lesbians sex is mind-blowing.
It’s not the “wham bam thank you mam” sex with men.
If you eventually take things to the next level physically just be honest that you are new to this. Most importantly relax and let things happen naturally.
Don’t Fall in Love Right Away
At this point, you may be very excited at this point about dating a lesbian. I am too. But, don’t rush into anything serious very fast. It’s very easy to fall in love with a girl because girls just get you, you know?
Girls are so understanding, patient, nurturing, and loving. But, please don’t be sucked into the hype just because she has all of these great qualities.
I am here to tell you that some people aren’t meant for you regardless of what they display to you.
Therefore take your time and just enjoy meeting new people for a while before you start to get serious with someone.
Offer to Pay
Ok, people assume the man always pays on a date. That’s not always true. So, when you are a lesbian the question is who pays?
Well, times are changing and there should not be only one person paying on dates male or female.
Therefore, when you are out on a date offer to pay. She can pay on the next date. Or you both can split the bill.
Trying to figure out who pays should no longer be a big deal. The idea is just to get to know each other and have a good time.
Conclusion
These were some general dating tips to help you navigate the dating world. Not matter if you are new or really familiar with lesbian dating the tips above can help anyone.
Make sure you just be yourself when going out on dates. Do not be someone that you are not. Your life will be much happier being your true self.