The number one thing you want to be sure of when doing online dating is that you do it safely. Online dating is pretty easy when you first start out online. The tricky part is not giving out your information when emailing, talking on the phone or even after first few dates in person. You need to really make sure the guys you are conversing with are safe and not predatory. You need to be reserved when first meeting guys online until you better know them.
What should you do to have fun meeting guys to try and find the one to date but stay safe at the same time?
Emailing and the phone
When you first meet someone on an online dating site you should spend time emailing them to see if they are a match. Once you have emailed long enough to get a sense of the guy then you can have a call with them. You should email and call long enough to know if this would be a guy you might want to meet in person. If you are getting good vibes after emailing and calling for a while then maybe set up a date to meet face to face. Do not rush this part take as long as you need and if they do anything that makes you uncomfortable then end it and go on to look for someone else.
There are plenty of men out there no reason for you to get desperate. You need to be picky and selective on whom you meet.
Google them
You have their name so you can go to Google to see what is out there about them. You may find something or nothing but it does not hurt to check. There is a ton of information on the internet. You might as well use it just to make sure you are not going out with a newly released guy from prison. Not that all people released from prison are bad but you should know who you are going out with to be safe.
Facebook and LinkedIn
We are not trying to be creepy by having you look up all their social media but it is good to check. If you have accounts on both of these sites you can see if you can find them. This would at least give you some background information on what they do and who they do things within their social circle. I would not go out to Facebook or LinkedIn to send him a friend request. You just need to wait to see if you hit it off after a few dates before locking down social connections.
You have talked on the phone long enough now it is time to meet for the first date. We have some safety protocols you should follow for the first few dates.
Meet in a public place
You have known each other for a few weeks just talking by email and phone. When you decide to meet you need to meet this guy in a public place with a bunch of people around. You can go to a restaurant, zoo, busy park, museum or any kind of local festival. Just make it a place where you can talk and have fun together. You should not go to the movies because you cannot talk much there.
Drive yourself to the date
Just to be safe you need to drive yourself to the date. Just pick a place to meet and you can drive there or take Uber. You should not have him pick you up because then you are not in control of when you can leave. You also do not want him to know where you live yet since you do not really know him.
Tell a friend
You want to make sure you tell a friend who you are going out with, where you are going and what time you should be home. This is to make sure you are safe at the end of the night. Contact your friend or text them when the date is done and you are home.
You could also make it so the friend can call in the middle of the date to see how you are doing. If the date is going bad you can say your friend needs you and you have to leave.
Carry a weapon in your purse
The thing is you never know what kind of person you are meeting for the first time. It is better to be safe than sorry in today’s world. You can carry mace or a stun gun if you are not comfortable carrying a gun. There are also apps on the phone you can use to alert someone you are in trouble. You can put on your keychain a personal alarm device that you trigger if you are in trouble. It sends out a high decibel alarm that will attract attention to you.
For more on self-defense check out our site at ProtectionSkills.com
Group date
Depending on who you met online this may or may not work. You can see if he will meet you out with a bunch of your friends. This way you are safe, he brings some of his friends and you can mingle with the group to get to know him. This may not work because your friends drill him with 100 questions and he gets scared off but that is the risk. Maybe set some parameters with your friends not to interrogate him.
Gut feeling
When you first meet them what does your gut tell you about them? Do you feel sick to your stomach or a little creeped out by the way he looks at you? These are warning signs to get out of the date as soon as possible. You need to listen to what your gut is telling you. Do not press forward with the date or future dates thinking things will change. There are plenty of other men you can date that will not give you the creeps.
If your gut is neutral or telling you that this is a truly nice guy then proceed with dating. Always pay attention to how you feel about who you are dating.
Do not drink
The first couple of dates with someone new just don’t drink or don’t drink much. You can have a glass of wine with your meal but that is all. Staying sober is the key to being aware of your date. The thing is you do not know this guy at all so to get drunk and rely on them to get you home safely is a bad move. Yes, this guy may be great and nothing happens but why risk it. You may actually do or say something you regret in the morning so lay off the booze.
Personal data
This is maybe your first or second date with the guy so keep your information about where you live to yourself. There is no reason to give this guy your address until you are sure he is a good guy. You have driven to the first few dates and he does not need the address. You can tell him the general area where you live in but I would not even tell him the street. I am not trying to be paranoid but you need to stay safe and this is how you do it.
Let’s talk scams
There are some people especially foreign-born that will try to pull on your heartstrings. They will tell you how beautiful you are and how awesome it is to be dating you. Then about 3 to 4 weeks into the relationship they are visiting family in another country and they need money to get back to the US. These guys tell a sob story about using their money to help a relative which now leaves them with no money and they need to get a ticket home.
Never share a bank account or give any of your financial information to a newer boyfriend. Do not wire money or give any personal data to anyone. Until you get married keep this information to yourself.
You should not fall for this scam. If you have not been dating for at least a year or more you should never be giving money to help out a boyfriend. He should never ask you for money what kind of boyfriend does that.
The kind of boyfriend that is a mooch and that you do not need in your life.
Check out this video made by the Federal Trade Commission that talks to you about online scams.
https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0004-online-dating-scams
Sex
You are an adult so you can do what you want on the first few dates. Having sex is not one of the things you should be doing with someone you do not know. The safety factor drops significantly when you go back to his place or back to your place for sex. Just wait till you know them better before doing anything risky. You also have STD’s to worry about when having sex with anyone in today’s world.
Anything that looks illegal report it
If you see bad language or inappropriate photographs on a dating site. The person you emailed or IM starts sending harassing or mean emails/texts. Fake or not real profiles let the company know what is going on. You need to report anything that is not right and this way the website company can correct the situation.
Additional help
If things go bad and you need help you can contact these organizations.
National Sexual Assault Number is 800.656.HOPE (4673) https://www.rainn.org/about-national-sexual-assault-telephone-hotline
National Domestic Violence Number is 800-799-7233 http://www.thehotline.org/
Online dating can be a great experience and a chance to meet a great guy. You just need to play it safe with the tips we have given you in this article. You need to make sure if anything does not seem right that you listen to yourself. You can leave early from the date or quit contacting the guy. You have the power to say yes to good guys and no to bad guys. You need to make the choice to make your dating experience fun and enjoyable.