Navigating the dating world can be tough for anyone but it can often feel even harder for people who are introverts. For introverts, having to put themselves out there and share bits and pieces of their lives with total strangers can be quite intimidating. Introverts want to connect as much as anyone but dating for introverts can have challenges that are hard to overcome.
First dates are notoriously difficult because they require being emotionally transparent. In order for people to get to know each other, they must peel away the layers around them and show themselves.
Introverts can often feel like this is more hassle than it’s worth. They feel it puts them in a vulnerable position and therefore tends to avoid it. However, when it comes to dating this is not always the best choice. After all, how can someone get to know you if you don’t show them who you are?
Does this mean that introverts shouldn’t be given the chance? Not at all.
However, there are some important things to know about dating for introverts.
Read on to learn more.
Do Introverts Make Good Dates?
Well, introverts are like anyone else really. Some will make good dates and others won’t. It’s really all about the person on the inside.
The trick with introverts though is figuring out how to get to know that person. Often, they are not very forthcoming with information and sometimes they can be hard to read. However, with a little practice and knowledge about what makes them tick; potential partners can figure out if they are the right person for them.
Introverts have a rich inner world that helps them to understand the world around them and to feel secure. To get an introvert talking, start by finding out about what it is that they value most.
What are their passions and interests?
It’s important not to put them on the spot though. They won’t open up easily, so start by sharing your ideas and thought about the world at large. This will help your introverted date to get into the conversation without talking about personal things too early on.
By directing the conversation towards bigger topics and perhaps more existential questions, you will find out more about who they are and what they value.
Make sure to let them direct that conversation.
Start with a simple nudge in the right direction, then let them guide the way. Create a space non-judgemental space for them to settle into.
Introverts are exceptional people who are often very intellectual and artistic. They just need a little coaxing in order to feel safe and secure. Once they do though, your introverted date may just be the most interesting date you have ever spent time with.
How does an Introvert Meet People to Date?
First of all, introverts need to open themselves up to the possibility of finding love. Many times, because they can be so introverted, they are stuck in their routines. This could mean spending too much time alone or at home. This is how they recharge their batteries from social interactions, so it’s not uncommon for an introvert to go into hiding after being social.
Unfortunately, this is not a productive way to meet new people. Dating for introverts can be a challenge but the challenge lies more in trying to get them to change up their routines than the dating itself.
Introverts can meet people anywhere and everywhere. At work or through friends and family is always a good place to start. What is good about those methods is that there’s someone who already knows the little quirks of the introvert in question. This enables them to be presented accurately and hopefully be introduced to another person who has similar personality traits.
Other interesting ways for introverts to meet new people purposefully, is through unassuming activities like book clubs or volunteer work. By getting out into their communities and doing something that they enjoy, introverts are more likely to meet people who have the same interests as they do.
When an introvert feels that they have an intrinsic connection with someone, they are more likely to open up. And by connecting on this level right from the start, the possibility of dating becomes even greater.
Should Introverts Date Extroverts or Other Introverts?
This is a great question and one that is most often asked by introverts and extroverts alike.
Who makes a better match?
Which personalities click better?
The answer is not clear cut but again, nothing in dating is black and white. It’s all about those varying shades of grey. The reality is that both combinations can work. It’s more about understanding each other’s needs and where each partner is coming from than anything else.
The Introvert/Extrovert Dating Connection
Introverts often connect well with extroverts because extroverts can take the lead in conversations. Introverts are great listeners and extroverts often need someone to bounce their ideas and thoughts off of.
However, this type of relationship can also be exhausting to an introvert. Introverts need alone time to recharge their batteries. After hours of social interaction, especially interaction that is one on one, an introvert will retreat.
Extroverts sometimes have difficulty understanding this behavior and may take it personally. This is not the case at all and the extroverted partner will need to understand that. One of the best things about the introvert/extrovert relationship is the balance they create with one another.
The yin and the yang.
The loud and the subtle.
This is a dynamic that tends to bring out the best in both partners. However, good communication is crucial and with it, the introvert/extrovert relationship can be a positive one.
The Introvert/Introvert Connection
This relationship however also has interesting aspects to it. Often in this connection, both introverts feel more understood than they do otherwise. When two introverts are dating someone, who is similar to them, they have a better understanding of what the other needs and how they operate.
A good example of this is that they both know how to give the other distance when they need it and they respect each other’s need for privacy.
Perhaps the only difficulty in the introvert/introvert dating relationship is in getting things started.
Both partners can be hesitant to make the first move.
They both can be more resistant to changes in their routines.
And both can be afraid to open up emotionally.
When it comes down to it, without one person in the relationship who is taking the lead…these dates could be off to a slower start. Too slow and they may never gain the momentum needed to start something great.
Should Introverts Use Online Dating Websites to Find Love?
Before the world went online, it was much harder for introverted people to find dates. They had to rely on other people to introduce them. This made for difficult dates with people that they often weren’t interested in. Or worse, they had to approach strangers in a bar, club or wherever they ran into someone who caught their eye.
This made for many an awkward conversation and introverts left feeling like they just weren’t good at dating.
Now with the world of online dating is the most prominent and efficient for everyone to meet, it has become a lot easier. Introverts are able to use their superior qualities of the written word to vet potential dates. And all without leaving the comfort of their own surroundings.
There are tons of apps and websites that cater specifically to introverts and this is a great place to start. What is helpful about online sites and apps is that introverts can take their time deciding if a potential date is someone that they actually want to meet in person.
Chatting, messaging and slowly getting to know someone before taking the plunge into a dinner date, is a helpful way for introverts to relax and show up as the best version of themselves.
The Pros and Cons of Dating an Introvert
There are many pros and cons to dating an introvert. Again, these details will depend of course on how introverted your date is, as well as their own unique personality. However, they are all worth considering when deciding whether or not to date an introvert.
Some of the pros of dating an introvert include having someone to listen to your thoughts and ideas. Introverts are known for being kind and supportive. They want the best for the ones they care about and are happy to support and watch from the sidelines. This can enable their partner to be the center of attention with a fabulous support system behind them.
Introverts also tend to provide deep introspection. They can see the bigger picture behind things that others might not see. This is very useful for their partners as it provides them with a date who can help them to find the path that they are truly searching for.
Some of the cons of dating an introvert can include always having to be the one in charge. No one likes to be the partner who always has to make the decision. Something as simple as discussing where you want to eat can be a challenge when dating an introvert.
They will often encourage their partners to make the choices because they don’t want to rock the boat. Although the idea is altruistic…long term this type of behavior can end up causing more problems than it’s worth.
Introverts typically avoid conflict.
They abhor being in situations where they need to prove their point and defend themselves. Many times, an introverted person will choose to say nothing at all, rather than risk saying what they really think about a situation or decision.
If they don’t feel that they have a safe, non-judgemental space to voice their opinions, they may choose to retreat into themselves and put a halt on all communication. This type of behavior could make things difficult in long term dating.
If you are an introvert this article from Time is a good one.
Dating for introverts can be a challenge but with clear cut knowledge of how they see the world, it can be made easier both for them and for their prospective partners. Introverted partners need to be aware of the ways that they recharge and help their partners to understand them and these aspects of their personalities.
Equally as important, their partners need to create safe spaces for the introvert to be able to open up and talk to them.
Often times, introverts tend to move slowly. Their dates need to see this and understand that is not necessarily a reflection on them but more a way that the introvert in question processes the world around them.
In fact, it’s entirely possible that introverts and extroverts can learn a lot from each other. A relationship where both people have different things to bring to the table makes for interesting and exciting conversations.
Sometimes opposites do attract and it can be a very positive thing.
Having said that, sameness is always attractive because it’s human nature to enjoy seeing yourself in someone else. Either way, creating a relationship out of those first few dates is a complicated but worthwhile process.
Ultimately, everyone wants to love and be loved. We all deserve it, it’s just a matter of finding the right person. So, with all this knowledge in hand, introverts and extroverts alike can make better dating decisions and hopefully take one step closer to finding love.