I know you are wondering how you are supposed to act online after the first date. I mean is there really a way your supposed to act? I bet that just crossed your mind too. Yet, the answer to both questions is “yes” there is such a thing as online and of course offline dating etiquette after a first date. You are supposed to have the absolute best representation of self after the first date or you will never have any dates again! No, I’m kidding, but etiquette is definitely important.
The information I’m going to give you is the blueprint to securing the second date, the third date, the fourth date, then boom you are married, on your way to the big blue house on the hill with the white picket fence.
That sounds good, right? Of course, it does. I am here to give you the keys to a beautiful love life filled with bliss and lots and lots of love! Now you’re thinking what if the first date didn’t go so well, then what? If the first date didn’t go well that is life it happens all the time. You are not alone. Even if the first date didn’t go so well it is still very important to keep your morals in check and still maintain a good character.
Although the online dating community is huge, with millions of members signing up every day, words travel fast, and if you aren’t conducting yourself in a great manner then you might as well say goodbye to online dating. If you do not want to be banned from the online dating world and desire a second date then please read what is the online dating etiquette after a first date below.
Let a few days go by after the date
Before you contact your date again for a possible second date let a few days go by before you contact them. I know this may seem like the worse thing to do since you must’ve had an awesome date. In the online dating world, everything is about patients and doing things at your own pace. If the person you went out on a date is really meant for you then waiting a few days would not hurt at all. In fact, they should be really excited to speak with you and tell you how much fun they had with you.
Now if they contact you first then that is okay, you can take things from there. It’s always good to move off the vibe of the other person, especially if you really like them. Often times we become too eager and come off very clingy we like someone. It’s okay to want to talk to a person all of the time but there is definitely such things as space.
You need those few days to get your thoughts together and to spend a little time with yourself before you reach back out for another date. Please wait for 1 to 3 days to contact them again.
Do talk about future dates
When you do finally reach out you must bring up the conversation you both are dying to have. The conversation of “what’s next?” You both must really like each other at this point and want to see how far things can go. This is the time to start talking about a second date.
Talk about where you two would like to go. Of course, the second date has to be totally different from the first date to keep things exciting. Do talk about serious relationship possibilities or if you both just want to keep things casual. Although you had a great first date and briefly got to know each other. This conversation is much more important because it sets the tone for the future. By having this conversation you immediately know if you want to pursue things further or call it quits. You must be clear and honest. This way there is a definite understanding of the relationship. It will make things a lot smoother as you both map out each others future.
Don’t make assumptions
If you are on the receiving end of your date not contacting you after a few days from the first date, then please don’t make any irrational assumptions. There could be many reasons why a person does not contact you within a few days.
- It’s possible they could have been bombarded with work.
- Sickness may have knocked them down for a few days.
- Could be a family emergency arose.
- They could have had a run in with the law, that’s scary.
- Maybe they could be on vacation.
- They may need a little time for themselves.
- It could be they were following the rules to “online dating etiquette after the first date” and decided to wait a few days before they contacted you.
Whatever it is don’t freak out just yet. The absolute no-no is contacting them asking why they have not contacted you. Please don’t start any drama where there is none because that can send huge red flags.
Badgering someone has never been okay.
If you are really concerned just send them a quick “hello, how’s it going?” If they respond to keep the conversation going. If they don’t respond wait till they do. If they never respond it’s best you move on because you really don’t need that type of stress in your life. If it takes them several weeks to contact you then I wouldn’t wait for them.
If they do decide to contact you after several weeks then they better have a good excuse on why it took them so long to get back with you.
If you are really feeling a person, don’t stop flirting with them after the first date. You must keep the spark in your budding relationship going. This really makes a person feel wanted and there is nothing sexier than keeping the spice you had on the first night.
Don’t flirt too much because then too much flirting can start to get a little creepy but every now and again say something flirtatious to make them smile.
Ways to flirt:
• Pay attention to your date and make eye contact
• Be fun and witty
• Have some fun and flirt on a text
• Be an active listener not just nodding your head or pretending to pay attention
• Brush up against them when you can
• Give them a few compliments but do not overdo it
Don’t waste time
Communication will always be key to any relationship. Communication is even more important when you are trying to end a relationship. Whatever you want to do please communicate with the other person on all of the decisions that may or may not affect them in some way.
If you were not happy with the first date and just don’t want to pursue things any further let them know that. There is no point in ignoring them or not contacting them on the first date when you can simply just be honest.
On the flip side if you are really into them and want to take things to the next level, let them know that. They may feel the same way they just don’t know how to say it. Hey, if they don’t feel the same way then so be it. It’s life. The important thing to take out of this is to simply not waste any time. Time is crucial we all need our time and the worse thing you could ever do is waste someone’s time.
Don’t follow them on social media
Whoa, buddy! Slow down here. Just because you had a great first date doesn’t mean you can start adding them on all your social media sites. That gives off a little bit of stalker or informant type vibes.
People don’t want to feel like they are being spied on. It is true that most of every one checks up on their date by googling their name, or seeing if they have any open social media accounts, or searching to see if they have a criminal record.
That’s all okay when you are doing it discreetly. You must have they “okay” from your date that you can follow them on social media. This should always be a mutual agreement.
Also, you should definitely wait until the third date to even ask about social media accounts. The objective is to get to know each other offline.
Don’t cut off all of your other connections
Yeah, the first date was pretty decent and all but don’t start cutting off everyone else just yet. You don’t want to be in a lose all situation if things don’t go well in the end. I think you should still seek out other dates and weigh out all of your options until you are absolutely sure you know exactly what you want.
You don’t want to move too fast even if you do like the person. As much as people like to believe they know a person after the first conversation they really do not. There is so much to learn about someone and this generally takes time. When you start to spend time with your date it will soon become clear if you should take things to the next level or start to call it quits. In the meantime date, other people get to know them. You may end up liking someone else in the end.
Today’s world many first dates you will have both people split the bill. This is fine but if you are unsure then just be ready. The guy may pick up the tab for the first date and then if there is a second date then to a woman will pay for that one.
You just have to play it by ear and be ready to pitch in for the meal or whatever it is you are doing.
Stay off your phone
You are on a date and cannot put your phone down. This will not go well on the date if you are on the phone texting friends or catching up on news. You can let the insanity stop for a few hours so you can get to know the person in front of you.
If the date is bad just say so and part ways. No need texting or being distracted the whole time it really does nothing for you both.
We gave you some good online dating etiquette advice. This does not matter if it is the first date or third date you should always have etiquette. Just follow what we said and be honest with your dates. This will go a long way especially if you have future dates. A big key is to listen and really get to know them the first few dates.