How to Approach a Woman in a Bar - Cool Dating Advice

How to Approach a Woman in a Bar

How to approach a woman at the ba

You are out with some friends at a local bar that is very popular. A woman catches your eye across the bar and you want to find a way to meet her.

How do you approach a woman when you are in a bar? You really need to make sure she is not with another guy before doing anything else. You then should make eye contact to see if she has any interest. If it seems she does have an interest after the eye contact then walk over and just introduce yourself if you have the guts.

I know that sounds too easy but it really takes you having guts to just go do it. Especially with you not knowing anything about her except she smiled back when you made eye contact with her.

We will look at some other ways you can approach an attractive woman in a bar. Check out some of the approaches or advice below on meeting a woman.

Eye contact


We talked about this in the above paragraph. You want to make sure you get into a position in the bar where she sees you and your eyes meet.

The eye contact can tell you if she maybe has an interest or no interest at all.

If she looks right at you with no change in facial expression and then turns away then she may not be interested.

If she keeps looking over or gives a smile when you both make eye contact then she may have an interest.

You have to make a decision to walk over and introduce yourself or do nothing.

Man looking at woman in bar


This will work in coordination with the eye contact. Once you make eye contact then give her a nice smile.

If she smiles back that is a great sign. Once you feel there may be a connection then at that point you can try to walk over to introduce yourself.

Look sharp

If you look like crap then no woman in a bar is going to be interested. You actually need to be well groomed. This means that you do not:

  • Have a wrinkled shirt
  • Have a 5-day shadow beard
  • Wear shoes that you used to mow the lawn
  • Have bad breath
  • Smell because you did not shower
  • Have sleep hair
  • Have dirty fingernails

You need to dress nice having a great outfit plus really nice shoes.

Man dressed nice on a date

Make sure you have a good opening line

Just going up to introduce yourself may work but you can also have some good opening lines that may be better.

Opening lines


Depends on the situation and what your line is when you approach a woman. The number one way to lighten things up and break the ice is by using humor. If you can make her laugh when you go up to meet her it is like hitting a home run in baseball. You do not want to do any offensive jokes.

The other thing you can do is to compliment her. Everyone goes for the looks but you should be different and compliment the shoes or clothes.

You may want to stay away from you are so hot. This makes you seem kind of creepy. When talking with a woman creepy is not good.

Propositioning a woman to have sex is probably the worst opening line. You need to not do this one at all. If you can’t say anything nice then do not say anything at all.

Don’t be nervous

Approaching a woman to talk to in a bar, you do not want to be too nervous. You can be a little nervous but make sure you keep a calm outside look. A woman will want a man that is confident but not cocky.

The less nervous you look the better chances of seeming confident and fun.

Buying a drink

I would wait to buy a woman a drink until you go over to meet her. Once you have met and things seem to be going well then you can buy a drink.

If you buy a drink and have it sent to her table she would not be aware if you added a pill to her drink. Buying the drink in front of her ensures the drink is clean of any drugs.

Do not tell her she is hot

The last thing they want to hear is you calling a woman hot. Just because you think it does not mean you should say it.

This would be a turn-off for most women, ending your chances of getting to know her.

You can compliment her on shoes or clothing but stay away from looks it comes off cheesy.

Hide your feelings

Once you connect with her at the bar make sure to hide your immediate feelings. You do not want to lose her by going love crazy.

Keeping her in the dark on how much you like her is a good idea especially at the beginning.

Other women

You see a group of women at a bar. They are having fun and you see one of the ladies at the party looks like someone you may be interested in meeting.

You should not approach her with the group being there. You need to wait until she is walking somewhere alone so you can say hello.

Do not creep her out by coming upon her in the bathroom hallway that is the wrong place to introduce yourself.

Pick the time and place wisely but if things do not look good just move on and maybe you will see her the next time you are at that bar.

Other guys

You should not approach a woman that is surrounded by other women. You definitely should not walk up to meet a woman that is surrounded by men.

One of these guys could be her boyfriend so that would definitely be bad for you. That group of guys may not be too happy if you walked up and flirted with the girl in the group.

The movie Hitch, getting the girl away from a bunch of guys.


Do not drink liquid courage (alcohol) to meet women. It is not good to be buzzed or drunk when asking women out. It is better to be sober when meeting new people.

Being sober or drug-free allows you to focus on the person you just meet. You need to memorize her name and any other facts she tells you so you can speak to it during the night or possibly in the future.


You should not talk about how much money you make for work. Trying to impress a woman can sometimes cause the opposite effect.

It would likely turn women off when some guy goes on and on about how much money they make. Who really cares unless you’re a gold digger.

Be yourself

Many women just want a really nice guy. They want the guy to be himself. You might think you are boring but she may find you exciting. You need to really be true to who you are no matter who you meet.


I hope the information above was helpful on how you can meet a woman in a bar. These were straightforward ideas that should help you with meeting more women.

To use the techniques above you will need to get off the couch and go out to a bar or nightclub. We specifically say use these at a bar but many of the approaches we talk about can be used anywhere.

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