Dating can be tough there are so many things to think about especially on first-time dates. You are trying to figure out what to wear? Where are you going to take her? Who should pay the bill? What questions should you ask? If she asks questions what answers should you give? What if you do not connect? The list of questions in your head could be endless.
Don’t stress out you are not even on the date yet. Just take in a deep breath and we have some basic tips that can help you get through the night.
Let her do the talking
People love to talk about themselves with women being no different. People love to go on about what they have done, accomplished and successes in their life. All of us like to feel we have done something worthwhile in our lives and sharing what we have done makes us feel good. If you really connect with her just sit and listen to her life stories. You may get a little bored but she will really connect because you have focused the night on her. If you need some fun questions to ask her to liven up the evening check out our article on Funny First Date Questions.
You do want to say some things about yourself so when she asks questions just be concise. Make sure when you do talk about yourself you keep it to safe topics. You do not want to talk about issues in your life or about ex-girlfriends. These are like taboo subjects when on a date. Keep the conversation positive, fun and light. You want to do this especially if it is the first date.
You want to keep conversation light and fun
Women want to go on a date and forget everything that is stressful in their life. Having fun with you will do just that. Making her laugh is such a great way to connect. You don’t want to talk about how stressful your job is or how your ex-wife is ruining your life. She does not care about your troubles she just met you all she cares about is having fun. Your job is to make sure you have fun on the date. Ask some fun questions like the 3 listed below.
- Name a funny prank you pulled on a friend?
- What is the funniest pick-up line a guy has tried on you?
- Do you have any weird talents?
You really need to dress nice
Ripped jeans with old smelly tennis shoes and an old t-shirt will not cut it. This is unless of course, you are going to a rock concert on your first date. You need to wear nice jeans, shoes and have a really nice shirt that is not a t-shirt.
The first impression is key especially if you met through an online dating website or app. The only thing she has seen is your profile picture which I hope is a real one. Make sure you shave and have done everything possible to look your best. This should be a fun night out with someone new to make it that way by investing in your appearance.
Turn off all devices such as phone or any other tech
This would be annoying if your phone went off all night while you are trying to focus on your date. If you are a doctor or in IT and happen to be on call then I would tell the date that at the beginning of the night. You should try to schedule dates when you are not on call but life gets in the way. Everyone else has no excuse to turn off the phone. Your date will appreciate the undivided attention you are giving her.
Avoid negative conversation
You do not want to talk about your ex-girlfriend or how stressed you are at work. You need to talk about positive things when she asks questions. If she asks about what you do just tell her what you do and stay away from how stressful your job is currently. She does not care she just met you.
Keep everything on the positive even if it is not. If your date does bring up a question like if you were previously married. If you use to be married just say you were but now you are focusing on the future and enjoying tonight with her. Do not go into how bad the divorce was and how bad your ex-wife is today. This is a recipe for disaster on a first date or ant date. These conversations are better left until the relationship is more solid and longer.
Whatever you do still offer to pay
Today’s world many women will now offer to pay all or at least pick up half the bill. You should still offer to pay for whatever the cost of going out on the date. If she offers to pay half then go ahead and let her do that. This is normal today where the women will offer to pay or pay her half.
You can also pay this time and tell her she can get the next bill on your next date. This will also tell her you are interested in another date. If you are not interested in another date then do not do this tactic.
Show confidence on the date
You being shy will not work well on a date. You need to come out of your shell and be confident when dating. If you need to practice in a mirror on how to ask questions and some key things you might say if she asks questions. If she asks about a hobby then talk about that for a little bit because it is easy being confident in something you know and love. Maybe you will get lucky and she has the same interest in some things that you do. This will make being confident easier.
Give her a call if you want a second date
Just be honest with her about a second date. Do not say you had a great time if you really didn’t. The key is if you like her and want a second date just call within 48 hours.
I know many people text so you can even text her.
If you have to no interest in going out again just say you had a good time but you did not really connect. You also do not want to call it quits too early. I met my wife on a blind date and we did not hit it off till the third date.
Sometimes it takes time to figure out if you both are a match. If you had fun on the date then I would just keep going out to see what blossoms.
Where to meet women
You are looking for someone to date but first, you need to find them. There are several places that you can find women to date. The key is you actually have to go out and try to find someone. They are not going to come to your door while you are sitting on the couch.
Unless you did a call girl service than sitting on your couch works.
You can go online to find a dating app or website to look for women in your area to date. You can use the old-school methods like meeting someone at church, social groups or maybe at a friend’s wedding. The amount of places you can meet women is endless you just need some imagination, guts and to get out of the house.
You can check out our article on the Best way to meet singles not online and How internet dating works.
Getting in shape
If you are in your twenties you should already be in shape. The guys that are in their 30’s or older it may be a different story. You may have let yourself go, now you are 40 or 50 and you are totally out of shape after the divorce. You want to get back into the dating game you need to work on getting into shape. This is just not to look better but it will help you feel better plus increase your confidence.
I know a guy in his 40’s and to stay in shape the last 3 years he was working out with 25-year-old MMA fighters. I am pretty sure you can find something a little easier on the body but will help you tone and build muscle. Maybe MMA training is not for you but you can find something you like.
Online dating
There are a ton of sites you can use to find a date. Check out our recommended dating apps and websites. There are a few tips we want to give you for using online dating sites.
- Your profile should be completely filled out and really be positive. Who would want to message someone negative in their profile?
- Use a recent photo, not one of you 20 years ago. You also do not want to use a different photo. That would be weird going on a date and you look nothing like the picture. That date will be over before it started.
- Make your profile interesting, not boring. Everyone loves to travel but what separates you from everyone else. I do MMA training to stay in shape. Now that is a conversation starter.
- Make sure you are honest about your age and everything else. You do not want to go into why you got a divorce or any other personal information that may be seen as poor me. You want an upbeat profile but if you have kids or other things that may be important to say upfront do it now. If you fib or lie on these dates and it turns serious then it will not last long when they found out you lied.
Married status
You need to be honest about your married status. If you are a divorce that is all someone would need to know the first date. Do not talk about your ex and the hell they are putting you through. That is not something you discuss on the first dates. They do not want to hear about how bad your divorce went. If you are married and separated you should not be on a dating website or app. You should wait until everything is finalized. Why muddy the water if you can avoid it.
Meeting somewhere get there early
If you are meeting your date out then get there early. You want to go out to eat and she will meet you there. No problem, you just need to get there early, secure the table to be ready for her arrival. Just word to the wise if this is the first date or you just started dating do not go to the movies. You will not be able to connect with each other sitting for 2 hours with no talking. The movie is the worst first date you could do so don’t do it.
Body language use it
You are on the date make sure you hold yourself up straight and no slouching. You want to maintain eye contact when talking with the date. Do not keep looking at your phone that would be rude.
We said earlier you should have the phone turned off. If at dinner do not put your elbows on the table. You want a strong body posture with eye contact and lots of smiling.
Here is a video on 3 body language tips that can help you on a date or when approaching women.
Listening on the dates
The key to a good first date and a relationship is listening. If you can really listen to your date, focusing your attention on them the date should go really well. Answer the questions when they are asked of you but try to ask as many questions as you can. The reason is to get to know them and it also gives you a chance to listen.
People love to talk about themselves or tell stories having someone listen is a great way to connect.
Bad dates
You will have some bad dates and good dates. Just do not get down about the dates that go bad. You can learn from that experience to try and avoid it the next time. You may have to date for a while to find the one that you really connect with in life. Do not be desperate and latch on to the first person you date even if it’s not a good match. You need to move on if there is no connection or spark.
Conclusion
That is what we have for you on top dating tips for men. Hopefully, on your next date with a woman, you take a few of these to heart. The more of the tips you use the better your dates will go or should go.