What comes to your mind when you think about casual dating? Do you think of casual walks in the park with someone you like or simply meeting up for coffee? Well yeah, it’s both of those things, but let’s not get it confused with exclusive dating or dating for love.
Casual dating isn’t anything serious.
Casual dating is dating different people and keeping your options open. There’s no strings attached or any risks of heartbreaks unless things are serious. Yet, the objective is not to get a serious way too fast. Casual dating is all about having fun and taking things slow till you figure out what you truly want. So, there are few rules to follow to make sure you are on the straight and narrow when it comes to casual dating.
So, what are the top rules for casual dating? When casual dating you must first remember that casual dating is not exclusive dating. It’s an experiment of some sort, like dating different people till you eventually determine who’s right for you. To keep casual dating in the playing field, remember these simple top rules.
Keep Your Options Open
Always keep your options open. If you meet two or three people you like and would like to get to know them, go for it! The idea is to have fun and not take dating so seriously. Get out there and meet new people. When you keep your options open you are not subjecting yourself to anyone.
You don’t belong to anyone.
You’re a free agent, a person who does not have to answer to anyone, you just do your own thing. When you keep your options open it’s easier to not get too attached to one person unless that’s what you want.
If something doesn’t work with one person, that’s okay because you have other people to fall back on. Plus, if it does not work, the relationship wasn’t so serious, to begin with, so there are no hard feelings.
When you keep your options open you learn things about yourself and other people because you are constantly meeting new people. So, just keep your options open!
Be a 100% Honest
No matter who you meet and end up dating, be a 100% honest from the beginning. Let your dates know that you aren’t looking for anything serious and just want to take things slow or “you’re just enjoying the single life.” You don’t want to lead anyone on, by making them believe that you’re looking for something serious and you are not. When you are honest up front, then people will know what they are getting themselves into.
They may have feelings for you and can’t understand why you are so “casual,” reinforce you mentioned where you stood early on. If you are honest up front there shouldn’t be any “catching feelings.” If everyone is on the same page and understand the boundaries that you set for yourself, then you are good to go. Please understand that being honest cancels out all misunderstanding and limits the chances of getting serious with someone.
Play It Safe
Since casual dating isn’t exclusive dating you aren’t expected to spend an enormous amount of time with the people you date. Spending a lot of time with someone could spark feelings that may not be mutual, so play it safe.
Hang out periodically.
Wherever you go on a date make sure it’s always in a public setting, and not at home.
If you spend quality time at each other’s homes all the time you may be giving vibes that you are trying to take things to the next level.
If that is not your goal limit the home stays. Go on dates that aren’t too intimate, like going out for a few drinks, going dancing, or a simple movie.
Dinner is always good too, but skip the romantic dinners by the lake type of date. Since you are keeping your options open, this means you are dating multiple people.
Therefore, you must always practice safe sex.
That’s if you are sexually active with more than one person. Remember, you don’t have to always have sex with someone you date. It’s not an obligation if that’s not what you want. If no sex is your rule in casual dating, then revert back to rule two, be a 100% honest.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T (“find out what it means to me)
“I’m talking about respect baby!”
When you are dating multiple people don’t make them feel like they are disposable, meaning easy to replace. Respect them as human beings who have feelings, regardless if you don’t want anything serious with them.
They may or may not know that you are dating other people.
If they do know you’re casually dating other people make sure you both understand to respect each other’s privacy and to not get jealous especially if your date is dating other people as well.
If your date doesn’t know you are dating other people keep it that way, for the sake of not wanting to create any envious vibes. This way you can keep a peace of mind if you find one of your dates is getting too attached or if you start catching feelings for someone yourself.
If you happen to not like a person after getting to know them a little don’t disrespect them by being mean about it, Respect them enough to tell them you feel you should move on. The importance of this rule is treating people how you would like to be treated.
Make Some Time for Yourself
Casual dating can take a lot of energy out of you, especially if you are talking to more than one person.
You don’t want to be so caught up in the dating world that you forget to make some time for yourself. Casual dating can get a little overwhelming, so relax, kick your feet up every once and awhile. Hit ignore when those dates start calling you and don’t respond back to texts so fast.
You need a break and that is absolutely okay. When dating, you start to get so wrapped up in getting to know everyone else and you tend to forget about you and your own needs. Therefore, make some weekends all about you.
Go shopping, make yourself a great dinner, watch a good movie, read a great book, do anything other than dating. I promise you the next time you do go on a date you will fill recharged and better than ever. So, make some time for yourself!!
Don’t Fall In Love
This is the golden rule of casual dating.
If you are looking for love casual dating is not for you. Casual dating is about meeting new people, having a good time, and enjoying your single life.
If the love bug bites you, please abort mission!
And most importantly don’t get caught up in any love triangles. Love triangles never end well and someone always ends up getting hurt.
So when you are out on your casual date, leave those “gushy” feelings at home. Falling in love can confuse things and make the situation very complicated. It can be complicated when you’re unsure if something serious is what you want.
So don’t make things complicated and just play it safe.
Always, always remember casual dating is not exclusive dating.
Set Your Goals
This may sound optimistic but when casual dating always set your game plan.
Ask yourself what do you want out of casual dating?
Is a serious relationship eventually the end goal? How long do you plan on casually dating?
How many people do you want to date? Etc.
These are questions you should always consider before and during casual dating.
When you set goals beforehand your expectations for others are clearer. You don’t lead people on and you don’t catch strong feelings for someone in the process.
Whatever your game plan is stick to it until you’ve got the outcome you wanted. Casual dating doesn’t last long, eventually, you may want to stop casual dating or you may actually find someone you really like and may want to get serious.
So go into this with a plan that will benefit you in the end.
It got serious
If the relationship does veer to the left and starts to get serious, don’t panic. This is OK if both of you are on the same page and have the same feelings.
If one of you want to get serious and the other does not then you have to figure out next steps.
No need to do anything hastily.
Just sit down and talk about how you both feel. Once you have it on the table you can see if going from casual to serious is in the cards.
Many couples are not looking to get serious when the relationship begins but that can all change. Once it does just communicate to see what you may need to do.
Casual dating is all about having a good time, enjoy it while it last. Just remember these top rules when you start to go out. Keep your options open, make yourself available to more than just one person. Be a 100% honest, when you are honest up front there is no chance for any misconceptions.
Play it safe, avoid all intimate dates and always practice safe sex. Respect everyone you date and do not treat them like they’re disposable. Make some time for yourself because casual dating can get a little overwhelming. Don’t fall in love if you are not looking for a serious relationship.
Lastly and most importantly, set your goals and expectations for the best outcome. These are the top rules for casual dating.
Check out this article How to do online dating successfully.